La Cocina

Hello friends!
Today I had the pleasure of eating a burrito from a place called La Cocina. The restaurant is located in downtown Chicago although apparently the owners have restaurants in other locations as well. I cannot vouch for those other locations. I can only vouch for the downtown locale. I can also vouch for a guy named Bob Garfield. He's a stand up guy and a person you should get in touch with if you are interested in term life insurance.

Other people I can vouch for: Ned Torgorson, Alan Ivy, Dick Thompkins, Ritchie "Fizzle Head" Polanski, and Gary Rohrbacher. I can't vouch for any women. I wish I could but I've been scorned so many times that I've become bitter and jaded. Maybe I should just let go of my hang-ups but they are pretty deeply seeded within my persona at this point. I mean it's like I meet a woman, talk to her about burritos for a few minutes, and then when I ask her if she ever wants to get a cup of salsa she claims she has a communicable disease.  Either there's a large percentage of the populous walking around with Chikungunya Fever or I'm getting the cold shoulder!

At this point I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I will die alone. That does not depress me at all. I will just use the extra time spent by myself eating and writing about burritos. In this way I give back to society and make the world a better place. Funny how life works out, huh?

As for the burrito at La Cocina, it was tasty. I give it a 7 out of 10.

Until next time,
Burritophile

An Asian, a Mexican, and an Irishman Walk Into a Burrito Joint...

Hello friends,
Welcome to Burrito Appreciation Month! We have a lot of great burritos to eat this month and look forward to sharing our adventures with you. My colon, Ted, and I are on great terms right now. We realized that we need each other in order to thrive as a human and a colon respectively. As such, a tenuous truce has been declared and there is peace within my stomach.....for now.

Yesterday I ate a burrito from Taco Burrito King located at 405 S Wells in Chicago.  I've eaten at this location before and for some reason I thought it was a good place to get a burrito but perhaps the events of that day clouded my memory....

Summer of 2012 I walked through stifling heat with two friends - Allen, from Korea, and Miguel, from Mexico - to get a burrito from the Taco Burrito King. Temperatures bordered on 100 degrees which is very hot for those who stay indoors all day. As we made our way through the streets of Chicago, a man approached us and began to regale us with a tale of woe. He needed money to get to St. Louis to visit his son who was dying of a broken heart. When he asked for our group to take pity and donate a gold coin for his journey I said "I haven't a farthing to spare good sir! I myself am a student and poor by nature. I have only enough coins for a burrito and nothing more."  The man was not amused by my response. He reached for my arm and touched it sternly on the fore. I recoiled quickly. "Good sir! You may not touch my being!" I screamed. He became quite agitated. "I'll touch your ass whenever I want!" he exclaimed. I could see Allen and Miguel readying themselves for battle or maybe they were readying themselves to curl up in the fetal position I can't be sure which. We moved cautiously down the sidewalk leaving the man behind us in a rage. He followed for a few steps bought thought better of attacking one against three.  I'm not sure if the man ever made it to St. Louis or not as we took a different route home.

For some reason, I remembered the burrito of that day being very good. And maybe it was, but I as I said maybe I was still shaken by my encounter with the gentleman on the sidewalk. The burrito I had yesterday was very average. Quite soupy in consistency and not a ton of flavor. A certain level of soupiness is to be expected for a chorizo burrito, but a steak burrito should not have so much goop falling out of the bottom of the tortilla. I give it a four.

Until next time....

Burritophile

New Burrito Delivery System

From the geniuses at Darwin Aerospace, we share with you THE BURRITO BOMBER. "The World's First Airborne Mexican Food Delivery System". If only more young people were willing to pursue careers in the science of burrito delivery, we could once more set this country on a path to global supremacy.

Bucks for Burritos '13

‘Fear the Deer’ was the chant of the 2009-2010 Milwaukee Bucks who won 46 games and took the Atlanta Hawks to a tightly contested game 7 in the NBA Playoffs.  Three years later, after the 2012-2013 season,  no one fears these deer, and they have found themselves as 76:1 underdogs in Vegas to beat the all-powerful Miami Heat in the first round of the 2013 NBA playoffs.  Personally, I love a challenge and I love an underdog.  In response, I have tracked down my bookie and placed a burrito bet on the Bucks.  Most people familiar with Vegas wonder how this is possible, but trust me, when you are in the burrito biz, anything is possible.

So here is how it goes, the Bucks win, I get 76 burritos.  The bucks loose, I forfeit 1 burrito. 

Here is where you come in…I need all of the followers in Burrito Land to cheer hard for the Bucks!  If I win, we all win, and burritos for all!  If you are able to do something even more than cheer (I’m thinking Tonya Harding style on LeBron James) that would be greatly appreciated too.  Instead of ‘Fear the Deer’ let’s think ‘Bucks for Burritos’ in ’13.

P.S.  You may have noticed that the Burritophile and I haven’t had much April traffic on the site posting about warms-up, practice and such.  Much like the NBA game, we have graduated to the pro level and don’t practice anymore.  As a result, we are saving it up for ‘game time’ which starts next Wednesday May 1.  It about time for all of us to get our game faces on and go!