It's Good to Be [Taco Burrito] King [@ 405 S. Wells]

The Taco Burrito King @ 405 S. Wells is a Delicious Burrito Joint located in the south loop.  If you have a hunger for a lunchtime burrito on a weekday in Chicago, I'd recommend that you go there.

What many people don't know is that Tom Petty wrote a song about it in the 90's.  While his hit 'It's Good to Be King' does not specifically mention the Taco Burrito King @ 405 S. Wells, it is clear from the context that this song is subliminally about this restaurant.   Like many of the best songs of the 20th and early 21st century, there are underlying drug and burrito references, but the best song writers make these references subtle and subliminal, so the listener has to use their imagination, and the censors are none the wiser.

For those of you who are unable to interpret the true meaning of this wonderful song, I have put the hidden words in brackets [] mixed with the lyrics that are heard by the untrained ear:

It's good to be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells], if just for a while

To be there in velvet, yeah, to give 'em a smile

It's good to get high, and never come down

It's good to be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells] of your own little town

Yeah, the world would swing if I were [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells]

Can I help it if I still dream time to time [about Taco Burrito King @405 S. Wells]

It's good to be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells] and have your own way

Get a feeling of peace at the end of the day

And when your bulldog barks and your canary sings

You're out there with winners, yeah, it's good to be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells]

Yeah I'll be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells] when dogs get wings

Can I help it if I still dream time to time

It's good to be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells] and have your own world

It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls

A sweet little queen who can't run away

It's good to be [Taco Burrito] King [@405 S. Wells], whatever it pays

Excuse me if I have some place in my mind

Where I go time to time [Taco Burrito King @405 S. Wells]

Taqueria Moran

Hello all and Welcome Back!  Not sure where you've been, but I've been on a special mission from the Burrito gods...covert and underground since my last posts during the polar burrito vortex of 2014.

Only a few things have happened since that infamous burrito vortex that I can talk about (a) I got married (b) I had a son (c) I taught my son that Flash Taco is evil, Chipotle is only a little better, and the good fight needs to be fought every May (side note when we took our son to Chipotle he projectile vommited..Atta boy - The good lord knows though he will never go near Flash Taco!)

Back to the story of this evening.  Armed with my family and a quest for the delicious taste that can only be found in May, we headed to the burrito dominated neighborhood of Logan Square. I figured that since we had formed and expanded our family, it was time to spend this Cinco de Mayo expanding our stomachs with some tasty and wonderful burritos.

We chose Taqueria Moran located in the heart of the Logan Square, a natural choice due to it location, wonderful cuisine and availability of high chairs.  I had the Carnitas burrito suizo, my wife had some chicken enchaladas, and my son had a varried order that included:

(a) A fistful of cheese
(b) Googly eyes at the female patrons
(c) a spoon for tossing
(d) Gerber squash which may or may not be code for pureed steak burrito.

The staff was great, the carnitas were to die for, the chicken was real poultry, the parking was easy and there was a lack of hipsters.  Overall, we give the experience 6 thumbs up, great fun in Logan Square for under $25.

We are headed to Madison for the weekend, maybe you'll hear from us again in the next 48???  Who knows what the hell we'll get into up there #!#!

Nate Silver Picks the Best Burrito in the Country

Several years ago, noted blogger, statistician, and election predictor, Nate Silver, created a "burrito bracket" to judge the best burrito in the city of Chicago (or at least within walking distance of his Wicker Park apartment). 

Now, the founder of fivethirtyeight.com has taken it a step further; he's creating a NATIONAL burrito bracket. A serious undertaking to say the least. If he needs any assistance, he knows where to turn (although we are surprised he did not choose to hold his contest in May since, well, that's burrito appreciation month and everything).

Good luck and godspeed, Nate! We will be following your bracket closely.

Cheers,

Burritophile

My Burrito Was Not Grand(e)

Welcome to Burrito Appreciation Month 2014!

I think you all know the drill. We eat burritos and then talk about them. Sometimes we include funny anecdotes or videos like this one:

Other times, we simply present the finest burrito news you can find. Like this:

Flamin' Hot Cheetos Burrito Coming to Taco John's

But for the most part, we eat burritos and then if we feel like it we write a few words on the experience. I'd appreciate it if you spread the word about the blog because I need money to pay off my gambling debt. On to the burrito...

Santiago's

Today I feasted on a  burrito from Santiago's in LaGrange, IL. I thought Santiago was a city in Chile so maybe this was a Chilean burrito? This burrito sort of sucked. First off, it was listed as a "Grande Burrito." Those of you that speak Chilean can confirm, but I thought "grande" meant "sort of big". Apparently in Chilean it means "not as big as you thought it was based on the picture in the restaurant window." This burrito was wee. It was small. It was diminutive (I just bought a thesaurus). And all it had inside was ground beef. The silly Chileans put the cheese on the outside! All in all it was a very disappointing experience. I will probably go back simply because it makes me feel worldly to eat Chilean food but I won't enjoy it. 

Until next time...

Burritophile

Diner Attacked After Refusing Man's Demand for Bite of His Burrito

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/burrito-assault-576432

If anyone tries to take a bite of MY burrito they go back with a stump. Kudos to this brave individual for standing up to this aggression.

Today is NOT National Margarita Day!

Some fools made up a holiday! What a bunch of ignorant jackwagons! Hahahahahahaha!

Everyone knows that National Margarita Day is actually on May 17th (which is also the day my dog Mayor McPug was born. RIP buddy! I'll never forgive myself for taking you off the leash while changing my tire on the interstate.)

Don't believe me? Here's the imposter website:

National Margarita Day FAKERS

And here's the REAL one:

National Margarita Day FOR REALSIES

It's obvious to anyone with a brain that the real site is much more entertaining and informative.  Do not be fooled by imposters!

Also, do not give this kid money. I will eat burritos for free....you can sit and watch me do it.

Until next time...
Burritophile

Polar Vortex Burrito #2

I was up late trying to link the association between the recent Polar Vortex and the appreciation of burritos.   I had to ask myself “Do polar bears eat burritos?...No (sadly for them); Can I purchase a polar bear burrito?...No;  Were burritos discovered at the north pole?...No; Did the early Viking or Eskimo cultures embrace the burrito…No (once again sad for them)”.  After not being able to link the two entities by any type of word association, I decided I would have to use my engineering background and knowledge of science and statistics to find the link.

The key to finding the relationship would be a Venn Diagram.  For those of you who don’t know, A Venn diagram or set diagram is a diagram that shows all possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets. Venn diagrams were conceived around 1880 by John Venn. They are used to teach  elementary  set theory, as well as illustrate simple set relationships in   probability,  logic,  statistics,  linguistics and computer science. 

In one circle I put “Polar Vortex” and in a second circle I put “Burrito Appreciation”.  Look at where the circles overlap and wallah, we determine what they have in common.

NOTHING?!?1?!?  Wow - I did not figure this would be the answer.  This is ironic, though, because you know what you will not enjoy about a burrito at La Cuchara - NOTHING, that's right, there is nothing that you will not enjoy!

La Chuchara is located at 1521 W. Madison Street and there is nothing that isn't great about this burrito.  Honestly, order the Arrachera Burrito with grilled skirt steak.  There is nothing not to love.  There is no way to not enjoy the Chihuahua Cheese.  It is not possible not to savor the sour cream.  I could not dream of not loving the scrumptious refried beans.  It is service with a smile and is is not not possible to not like nothing about this experience, and this isn't not the truth.  If you don't believe me, see the Venn Diagram below, they don't lie:

This is the point where I have to apologize to the reader.   I didn't actually go to La Chuchara for a burrito, I only looked it up online.  I would love to go there, but in light of the recent Polar Vortex, it was just way to frickin' cold to walk over.  The pictures looked delicious, menu description wonderful and I am sure that I will get there soon and prove everything that I hypothesized true.  Until then, please be sure to tune into future installments regarding the Polar Vortex Burrito.