La Cocina

Hello friends!
Today I had the pleasure of eating a burrito from a place called La Cocina. The restaurant is located in downtown Chicago although apparently the owners have restaurants in other locations as well. I cannot vouch for those other locations. I can only vouch for the downtown locale. I can also vouch for a guy named Bob Garfield. He's a stand up guy and a person you should get in touch with if you are interested in term life insurance.

Other people I can vouch for: Ned Torgorson, Alan Ivy, Dick Thompkins, Ritchie "Fizzle Head" Polanski, and Gary Rohrbacher. I can't vouch for any women. I wish I could but I've been scorned so many times that I've become bitter and jaded. Maybe I should just let go of my hang-ups but they are pretty deeply seeded within my persona at this point. I mean it's like I meet a woman, talk to her about burritos for a few minutes, and then when I ask her if she ever wants to get a cup of salsa she claims she has a communicable disease.  Either there's a large percentage of the populous walking around with Chikungunya Fever or I'm getting the cold shoulder!

At this point I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I will die alone. That does not depress me at all. I will just use the extra time spent by myself eating and writing about burritos. In this way I give back to society and make the world a better place. Funny how life works out, huh?

As for the burrito at La Cocina, it was tasty. I give it a 7 out of 10.

Until next time,
Burritophile

An Asian, a Mexican, and an Irishman Walk Into a Burrito Joint...

Hello friends,
Welcome to Burrito Appreciation Month! We have a lot of great burritos to eat this month and look forward to sharing our adventures with you. My colon, Ted, and I are on great terms right now. We realized that we need each other in order to thrive as a human and a colon respectively. As such, a tenuous truce has been declared and there is peace within my stomach.....for now.

Yesterday I ate a burrito from Taco Burrito King located at 405 S Wells in Chicago.  I've eaten at this location before and for some reason I thought it was a good place to get a burrito but perhaps the events of that day clouded my memory....

Summer of 2012 I walked through stifling heat with two friends - Allen, from Korea, and Miguel, from Mexico - to get a burrito from the Taco Burrito King. Temperatures bordered on 100 degrees which is very hot for those who stay indoors all day. As we made our way through the streets of Chicago, a man approached us and began to regale us with a tale of woe. He needed money to get to St. Louis to visit his son who was dying of a broken heart. When he asked for our group to take pity and donate a gold coin for his journey I said "I haven't a farthing to spare good sir! I myself am a student and poor by nature. I have only enough coins for a burrito and nothing more."  The man was not amused by my response. He reached for my arm and touched it sternly on the fore. I recoiled quickly. "Good sir! You may not touch my being!" I screamed. He became quite agitated. "I'll touch your ass whenever I want!" he exclaimed. I could see Allen and Miguel readying themselves for battle or maybe they were readying themselves to curl up in the fetal position I can't be sure which. We moved cautiously down the sidewalk leaving the man behind us in a rage. He followed for a few steps bought thought better of attacking one against three.  I'm not sure if the man ever made it to St. Louis or not as we took a different route home.

For some reason, I remembered the burrito of that day being very good. And maybe it was, but I as I said maybe I was still shaken by my encounter with the gentleman on the sidewalk. The burrito I had yesterday was very average. Quite soupy in consistency and not a ton of flavor. A certain level of soupiness is to be expected for a chorizo burrito, but a steak burrito should not have so much goop falling out of the bottom of the tortilla. I give it a four.

Until next time....

Burritophile

New Burrito Delivery System

From the geniuses at Darwin Aerospace, we share with you THE BURRITO BOMBER. "The World's First Airborne Mexican Food Delivery System". If only more young people were willing to pursue careers in the science of burrito delivery, we could once more set this country on a path to global supremacy.

Bucks for Burritos '13

‘Fear the Deer’ was the chant of the 2009-2010 Milwaukee Bucks who won 46 games and took the Atlanta Hawks to a tightly contested game 7 in the NBA Playoffs.  Three years later, after the 2012-2013 season,  no one fears these deer, and they have found themselves as 76:1 underdogs in Vegas to beat the all-powerful Miami Heat in the first round of the 2013 NBA playoffs.  Personally, I love a challenge and I love an underdog.  In response, I have tracked down my bookie and placed a burrito bet on the Bucks.  Most people familiar with Vegas wonder how this is possible, but trust me, when you are in the burrito biz, anything is possible.

So here is how it goes, the Bucks win, I get 76 burritos.  The bucks loose, I forfeit 1 burrito. 

Here is where you come in…I need all of the followers in Burrito Land to cheer hard for the Bucks!  If I win, we all win, and burritos for all!  If you are able to do something even more than cheer (I’m thinking Tonya Harding style on LeBron James) that would be greatly appreciated too.  Instead of ‘Fear the Deer’ let’s think ‘Bucks for Burritos’ in ’13.

P.S.  You may have noticed that the Burritophile and I haven’t had much April traffic on the site posting about warms-up, practice and such.  Much like the NBA game, we have graduated to the pro level and don’t practice anymore.  As a result, we are saving it up for ‘game time’ which starts next Wednesday May 1.  It about time for all of us to get our game faces on and go!

The Burrito Theme Song

If you are in Mountain View, CA you should visit this restaurant simply because of the wonderful music they have on their website:

Awesome Burrito Music

Farewell Burrito Appreciation Month 2012

So, I’ve gotten behind on my posts over the last few weeks.  Here within lies the problem, I’m a doer, not an observer…

Let’s think about this.  Does Aaron Rodgers have a blog where he tells you what an awesome quarterback he is?  No, that is the job of the sportswriters of America. Likewise, Michael Jordan never had to blog about what a great basketball player he was, there were writers to do this for him.  In a perfect world, I shouldn’t be responsible for blogging about what an awesome, MVP caliber burrito appreciator I am.  Sadly for me, the Burrito Writers of America have been on strike since 1972, and there is no end to this strike in site (did you ever wonder why this is the only burrito site you have ever read?).  Some old school writers are still able to write about local taco and gordita issues, but the burrito writers, due to union restrictions, have been banished.  If we had a reporter from Burrito Monthly following the BP and me around 24-7, can you imagine what a great site this would be?  Wow, now that would be something worth reading about! 

I could take this opportunity to blog about all of the awesome burritos that I had to end the month, however, I would rather take this opportunity to look forward.  Below is a short list of places I want to check out in anticipation of the 2013 Burrito Season:

Birria Huentitan

4019 W. North Ave.

http://chicago.metromix.com/venues/mmxchi-birria-huentitan-venue

DeColores

1626 S. Halstead

http://www.decolor.us/

La Casa de Samuel

2834 W. Cermak

http://www.lacasadesamuel.com/

La Lagartija

132 South Ashland

http://lalagartijataqueria.com/

Sadly, unlike 2011, extra time will not be granted to Burrito Appreciation Month.  With Burrito Appreciation Month almost a fortnight past, its time has gone this year.  The lady at the door has long since beckoned, and it is time to grab my coat and get out of here.  I will say this, though, wow, what a month!

For the first time ever, I had a Cinco abstinence party.  I dined with super king burritos, and was introduced to magical doors.  I studied the history of Irish Burritos and explored the important issue of when a crepe becomes a burrito.  I even was a creator, delivering us the Tommy’s Taco Style Burrito. 

I don’t know if the Burritophile will live to see another burrito appreciation month, man is he in rough shape.  He was so busy inhaling burritos and enjoying them that I don’t think he and his colon Ted will ever make amends.   Other body systems, including his blood vessels and lungs, are so full of burritos that they are starting to fail.  We can only pray that the sun rises for him in 2013; another rigorous off-season training session will most definitely be required from him.

I figured that I would end 2012 Burrito Season like this so the ending of Sopranos, Lost, or whatever show you watch with a bad ending would seem less lame.  Onward to 2013 and catch you on the flip side!

McBob'c Irish Tacos

At about noon on Saturday, the hunger monkey leaped on my back and I was a famished little critter.  I decided to go to McBob’s at 49^th and North Avenue in Milwaukee to squelch my hunger with an Irish Taco.

The Irish Taco has an uncanny resemblance to a burrito.  If I didn’t know better, I would think that Mr. McBob, whoever he may be, was trying to simply sell a burrito under the Irish Taco name.  The Irish Taco is a wrapped, oversized flour tortilla shell that is filled with ground beef, cheese, salsa, sour cream, and jalapenos.  All of this can be procured for a mere $4.50 and enjoyed in McBob’s refreshingly low lit and establishment.  Inside all sunshine is blocked out, and you can enjoy your food in peace while being kept company by Christmas lights, locals bellied up to the bar, and extreme sports on the television.

The taco has a rich and deep history in Ireland.  Many of the reasons for Ireland’s revolution from England are cuisine based.  English food at best is incredibly bland.  There are only so many days in a row where you can eat soggy fish and chips washed down with room temperature beer before you would be ready to take up arms and start a revolution.  The King limited the Irish’s menu choices, and the Irish Taco was invented as a middle finger in the face to the King’s Royal Chef.  During the great potato famine, the Irish Taco morphed to an obnoxiously oversized burrito like fare so it could literally sustain and man for weeks on end.  I have to imagine that our own American revolution was also based on food and drink.  Our founding fathers dumped tea into Boston Harbor so we could become a sovergn nation free to invent much tastier beverages, like Coca-Cola, Caprisun, and Red Bull.

This piece of Irish history is not well known, and sadly McBob is a dying breed that still celebrates the Irish Taco.  If you don’t have a burrito joint nearby, you should go to McBob’s and have yourself an Irish Taco.  You won’t regret it.